Title: My Dark Vanessa

Author: Kate Elizabeth Russell

Genre: Contemporary Fiction

Publisher: William Morrow

Publication date: 10th March 2020

My rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

Summary:

“‘ALL HE DID WAS FALL IN LOVE WITH ME AND THE WORLD TURNED HIM INTO A MONSTER

Vanessa Wye was fifteen years old when she first had sex with her English teacher.

She is now thirty-two and in the storm of allegations against powerful men in 2017, the teacher, Jacob Strane, has just been accused of sexual abuse by another former student.

Vanessa is horrified by this news, because she is quite certain that the relationship she had with Strane wasn’t abuse. It was love. She’s sure of that.

Forced to rethink her past, to revisit everything that happened, Vanessa has to redefine the great love story of her life – her great sexual awakening – as rape. Now she must deal with the possibility that she might be a victim, and just one of many.

Nuanced, uncomfortable, bold and powerful, and as riveting as it is disturbing, My Dark Vanessa goes straight to the heart of some of the most complex issues our age is grappling with.“

My review:

Not all books are supposed to be entertaining and easy to digest. Some books strive to bring out all forms of humanity and incite the most complex array of emotions in its readers. My Dark Vanessa is most definitely one of those books – daring and ambitious with the intention of delivering a strong message to its readers.

Sexual abuse is hardly ever explored to this degree in books and media. When I originally read the blurb and reviews I was surprised to see that this is the main subject matter of the book with Vanessa, a 15 year old schoolgirl, as the main character. I certainly didn’t expect it to be discussed in such detail and can only admire the author for the courage to explore it to this extent despite the stigmas attached in our modern day society. Although the book was extremely disturbing and difficult to read, it is equally powerful and fearless in its attempt to remove barriers and analyse the deepest and darkest thoughts from the victim’s perspective.

One of the most meaningful strategies used is the first person narrative. There were moments where I felt I was in Vanessa’s shoes, living through the horrors she was facing and that made it even more real and horrifying. It also delivered a more genuine and raw perspective during the parts where Vanessa was left on her own to reflect on some of her choices and try to rationalise the relationship. This would have been less effective without the use of the first person narrative so I am glad that the author decide to use this technique.

The dual alternating timelines is another fundamental technique and one which highlights the effect of sexual abuse later on in life. The impact which Jacob Strane had on Vanessa, even years after finishing school, is tremendous and the way which the author handles this with the introduction of some other characters is noteworthy. I didn’t agree with some of her choices as an adult but upon reflection I believe that this is exactly what the author wanted to emphasise after all the trauma Vanessa experienced as a child.

I struggled a lot with this book but ultimately finished it with the firm idea that, although it is a distressing book to read, it is also a very necessary addition to bring attention to some of the dilemmas in our society. It is technically excellent and emotionally involved which makes its message even more powerful. I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone due to the dark nature of the subject matter but readers who are aware of the triggers and are expecting a raw and profound book will likely not be disappointed.

Title: Every Note Played

Author: Lisa Genova

Genre: Contemporary Fiction

Publisher: Allen & Unwin

Publication date: 5th April 2018

My rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

Summary:

“‘An accomplished concert pianist, Richard has already suffered many losses in his life: the acrimonious divorce from his ex-wife, Karina; the estrangement of his daughter, Grace; and now, a devastating diagnosis. ALS. The relentlessly progressive paralysis of ALS begins in the cruellest way possible – in his hands. As Richard becomes more and more locked inside his body and can no longer play piano or live on his own, Karina steps in as his reluctant caregiver.

Paralysed in a different way, Karina is trapped within a prison of excuses and blame, stuck in an unfulfilling life as an after-school piano teacher, afraid to pursue the path she abandoned as a young woman. As Richard’s muscles, voice and breath fade, the two struggle to reconcile their past before it’s too late.

With a strong musical sensibility and the staggering insight of Jojo Moyes’ Me Before You, Lisa Genova has delivered a masterful exploration of what it means to find yourself within the most shattering of circumstances.“

My review:

Sometimes life takes an unexpected course, for the better or worse. Unfortunately for Richard, his diagnosis is a serious one and he already foresees his distressing future as we are introduced to his character in the first chapter. ALS is a debilitating disease and a particularly awful one for Richard, a professional pianist who cannot imagine life without music and his piano.

I was hooked right from the first page although I had my reservations about how the author would navigate the complexities surrounding terminal illness and end of life care. My worries soon dissolved as I realised that Lisa Genova has a particular way with words. Her carefully chosen vocabulary was just right for this story as she didn’t overload the plot with too much medical language but successfully explored the illness from both Richard’s point of view as well as those around him in an expressive and coherent manner. There were elements of sarcasm scattered in however this was done in a tasteful way to show Richard’s coping mechanism with his sudden and painful diagnosis. I applaud the author for the way she handled this sensitive topic in a way many others would be unable to.

Character development is key in Every Note Played and I was interested to hear the viewpoints of Richard’s ex-wife, Karina, and his daughter, Grace. Although Karina almost immediately stepped into the role of Richard’s carer, Grace was less forgiving of some of her dad’s past actions and the way he treated her mother. This created a series of compelling and at times heartbreaking interactions between the broken family which only further highlighted the hardships of terminal illness and its impact on relationships.

The final few chapters were incredibly hard to read however celebrated Richard’s life in a way I could never have imagined at the start of the book. Each character, including Richard himself, ultimately came to terms with the undeniable outcome in their own way and this incited in me a range of emotions which were difficult to control.

Every Note Played is an emotionally wrecking read however it is an important one as it emphasises how short and fragile life is and how practising forgiveness is sometimes the only way to heal. Although it is a book that some may struggle with, it is one that I will be recommending to many friends and family members as there is a lot to learn and reflect on.